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Identifying with Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts create negative feelings

Have you ever been in a social situation where one person seems to love talking about how sick or how exhausted they are?  Their negative thoughts create negative feelings in you.  Before you know it, they have drained your energy like a vampire, sucking it right from you!

I like being able to answer the question, “How are you?” authentically and honestly without draining my energy or anyone else’s with my answer.


When I was taking back my life from illness in the mid 90’s, I stopped saying  things like, “I’m sick.” or “I’m exhausted.” once I realized saying it felt even more draining. I no longer choose to spend time focusing on what I don’t want with negative thoughts. Instead, I focus on what I am choosing or the outcome I desire and that’s what I say outloud.

If you identify with negative thoughts such as feeling sick, re-frame! It doesn’t take away from your reality to acknowledge and affirm that you are healing.  When others ask how I am after I’ve just had a minor heath issue, I might say things like, “I’m in healing mode”, or “I’m recovering”.  I’m truthful and focused on the outcome I’m really wanting to achieve.  If I really have to talk about it, I’ll say something like, “I’m MUCH better than last week! I’m grateful to be recovered now!”  If the person wants to know more, they’ll ask.  If they don’t ask, at least I’m feeling grateful and that is the energy I’m putting out.  This positive energy moves the conversation forward without any time for complaining.

Change focus to desired outcome, not “reality”

Your thoughts were focused on being sick because you felt sick and that’s what you continued to focus on.  Now you can focus on what you really want, such as being well, or feeling gratitude (a very high vibration for the cells in your body).  Your thoughts begin to change to support the desired outcome and your better thoughts create better feelings.  And, as you continue to think differently, you leave a clear channel for your body to do it’s best healing work.  You’ve created the proper neuro-chemical soup with your new thoughts and feelings.

Recognizing the energy drain

If you identify with being exhausted, you’ve probably been doing too much. The more you tell people you are exhausted, the more exhausted both of you feel because that energy is very heavy and draining. The more you say what you don’t want out loud, the more you affirm it’s truth and power over you and the more you’ll feel it! Once I recognize the negative thought/feeling I look deeply into why I feel that way. I acknowledge the over commitment or the limiting beliefs or whatever is exhausting me.  Then I re-frame.

I say things like, “I forgot there was no such thing as multi tasking and I’m working my way out of it!” I can laugh at the truth of that and then immediately think of a way to be nice to myself by taking a breath and re-prioritize more realistically.

In whatever way you can, take responsibility and choose a new course.

Every day I do something to take care of myself.  The quickest way to change my feelings and upgrade my thoughts is practicing 10 minutes of a meditative technique that opens up my pre-frontal cortex (PFC) and calms down the lower brain – that beast that likes to ramble on about things which I have no desire to focus on.  For a video to see what this technique is like sign up here.  For a limited time, FREE sessions are available!

Related Blog Post Venting-Justification to Complain

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