A friend posted a couple a wonderful scriptures on their timeline that addressed complaining. She recognized she had some work to do. One person commented that complaining was “only human” and venting helped them to release and move on.
I used to believe that too. And I vented a lot!
Complaining is a Negative Habit
Until one day I realized the complaining never actually made me feel better and in fact, it is nothing more than a negative habit I had developed to a fine art.
Change IS hard. No question. Our brains were built for survival, not change!
And, after years of continued practice of taking personal responsibility for all circumstances in my life, focusing only on what I choose and reframing my experiences to find at least a nugget of blessing in each one, I can tell you I no longer “have to” vent to move on.
I have a choice.
Now that human part – I have to decide to make that choice! And there will be an occasion every now and then that will give me a little trouble. It’s a daily practice and I imagine it will take my whole life to perfect “not complaining.”
The answer is, in fact, quite simple as stated. The execution takes perseverance and practice. The average person will make many missteps on the road to freedom from complaining. Only the determined will relentlessly pursue it.
Stop Being a Victim
Re-framing and finding my blessings has allowed me to stay peaceful, keep important relationships healthy, and rid myself of negative and unhelpful relationships.
I challenge you to just notice any complaining for the next 7 days and see just how much of it you do. Take an honest assessment of the complaining. Does it stop after one complaint or one day? Or you are complaining about the same thing to everyone you coming contact with? Was that complaint you had on Monday gone by Tuesday or are you still complaining about it on Friday?
Just check in with yourself over the next week and see what your level of complaining is. And then ask yourself, “is all this complaining getting me what I truly desire? Is it really helping me let go and move on?”
If you find you have only an occasional complaint and you’re over it reasonably quickly without telling it to every person you know or posting it on Facebook, then you are in a great place to end complaining! You will find the journey easier to start.
It may still be a bit of a struggle at first – remember, humans weren’t actually built for change. It’s something we all grapple with. Be gentle with yourself! Pick yourself up dust yourself off forgive yourself and do differently next time. You’ve got this!
If you are complaining daily, you can still make a positive difference in overcoming your habit!
You can start your healing by noticing if there is a theme. Are the complaints based in anger or in disappointments or lack of satisfaction? Are the complaints about the way others treat/don’t treat you? Find out what causes you to complain the most and work on that ONE thing to start.
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